Personal Stories: CW

I have epilepsy. I started having seizures 4 years ago. The cause of my tonic clonic seizures is still unknown. We have not been able to control them yet. They are very sporadic and they have no obvious or continual triggers or onsets. Sometimes they are accompanied with migraines and vomiting and sometimes not. The only consistency that I have with my episodes is that I am unconscious and unaware of my surroundings or actions and that I am dead to the world for 3-4 days after my episodes. I also have absent and partial complex seizures that are also uncontrolled and getting worse.

My latest methods of trying to control are pills, and medical marijuana oil. Which I just started, so we shall see how that works. I've heard extremely positive reviews about it for epileptic seizure disorders.

I am a single mom with 3 kids. I lost my job last year because it just got too dangerous. The last straw was when I was working and netting the pool, I dropped into a tonic clonic state, and slammed my head in the side of the pool, and while I was convulsing, it shook my body towards the pool, if I would have gotten in the water I would have died.

So now, I am trying my hardest to still provide for my kids with no income. I have no way of paying my bills which is a huge stressor, I made a gofundme account, to try to help with some of my medical bills, and expenses. Also to help with necessities like rent, power, and phone, for emergencies. I have applied for disability, but that's a long process. I'm pretty much at my wits end and have nothing left. Its gotten to the point to where I have to have a care taker for everyday, and I may have to give custody of the kids to their father, even though he does not want them. Its really bad. And I don't have any hope left really. Just out here trying to find some, somewhere. If you know what I mean.